Thursday, May 27, 2010

in reflection.

"These embers burn brighter than the heart inside your chest," she said with a solemn look, "you break and burn for the wrong reasons.”
I wet my feet and strain my muscles
and she's completely right.
I inhale another gasp as my footsteps hit the concrete
sending sparks up my legs, setting off fireworks in my back
I need to run.
"She’s nothing, she's not real" I tell myself as I sprint down the dark streets
but every time I turn around, there she is
floating towards me.
Her soul is wrapped around me like weeds
I tear at the roots, but nothing can break this bond.
Her eyes dig into my soul
like venom
I think of medusa
but I believe even the snake herself is kinder than my current torture.

The moon is alive
all I have
the stars can’t even see me here
wherever I am.
I feel trapped, cornered
but there is no one left in this world but me
am I even on a planet? Where could I be that my imagination takes hold?
I find stairs
without question, I climb
two at a time
breathing only when my legs push off the ground
maybe gravity will turn off, maybe I’ll float away.
I need to breathe more.

“You’re burning out boy,” I hear her cold voice cut through the silence
“You’re broken, and no one can light you up again.”
I reach the top of the building
how many flights were there?
My legs ache, but my heart wants more
the concrete below shouldn’t seem as welcoming as it looks
but why take the stairs again
I can never go back the way I came.
I close my eyes, there’s no looking back
and I jump.

Her voice is no longer in my head
I feel my body crashing towards the ground
these stories pass by in seconds
but somehow I know
this isn’t how it ends.

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