Tuesday, December 15, 2009


you're all i think about. its 1 am and sleep cant even touch me, i am so crazy about this feeling. why am i still awake? you're there when i need you, your presence is next to me, even if you arent. i am crazy about you, she adores you.
stick with me, please. i am so scared, but with you here, it's not as bad.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

hear you me

and I'm going to keep changing
but I'd like it better with you by my side.
I say all the wrong things
but you just laugh it off anyways
which means a lot to me.
you have me in the palm of your hands
you're underneith my skin
and i wouldn't change anything about you
even you're OCD's.
i've fallin way too many times
katie's one to know
she still sticks with me and makes me smile
though i feel lost every once in awhile.
what a dumb way to ryhme
i am sooooo sleepy...

Friday, December 11, 2009


I wrote this a few weeks back, but decided it needed publishing.

Fragile is one way to put it
Broken is another
A butterfly can fly so far
But not far enough to reach the stars.

Poetic is one way to put it
Pathetic is another
So many paths to choose
Why not just sit and wait
Why take a chance at failure
When you could just relax and paint?

I'm not picking the cautious road
I'll take my chances
I'm not reading your book anymore
I'm okay with writing my own.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

the forbidden "P" word

because I've said it way too much
i've used up its amount and been kicked in the rear way too much.
it's because i already know when you're jokes are comming
but i cant help but laugh anyways
and for a really long time, might i add.
it's because even though i've been hurt
you know the pain
and we're both taking it slow.
it feels like a secret, one i can tell a thousand times and still keep
a word that only fits into four spaces
but makes my heart dance
and head spin.
because it feels like this time...
i could be right.

i like being scared.
please, i hope to anything that will hear me
please, just this once
be right.

its a beautiful day in the neighborhood

a beautiful day <3
I'm wearing 4 shirts, and no jacket in 30 degree weather
I passed my math final
I started my day off with Ferris Beuller
and my boyfriend came over <3
the day of all days. i love life!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

you make me sick

yea, that's right, YOU.
you sit there, wallowing in your own piss and pity, when you really just need to GET THE FUCK OVER IT! everyone is aware that all your pathetic posts are about him, all those little "i miss you's" and pittiful cries for attention are enough to make me gag. sure, he's close to me, but if it was anyone I would be saying the same damn thing. it took me 2 god damned years to get over someone, but i wasnt as fucking pathetic as you are being.
you think you are losing friends because they're all shitty, but in reality, YOU are the shitty person. everything HAS to elvolve around you or it's the end of the fucking world. the reason you're "best friend" isn't that great is because you let her treat you like shit, you like feeling like crap so you can WHINE to other people and make them rant on the internet! you sit on your throne, saying "so-and-so is such a whiner" or "all they think about is themselves" and then turn around and say you wear your fucking heart on your sleeve. bull fucking shit.
if you ever read this, i bet you my left leg you wont say more than a few heated words then go tell the world that i was always a bad friend, you'll never have me back up my words with explanations and try to better yourself.
the only person who can change your world and who you are is YOURSELF, and if you continue to just sit there and DROWN YOURSELF in you're own disgusting pity, then you are equal to... well, nothing. i have no pity for your shit, and the only reason i havent said this to your face yet is because you wouldnt hear what i'm really saying, you'd just hear the bad and go cry to someone who "cares"
think about it, GIRL, its all YOU, only YOU, and YOU should do something about YOURSELF.

peace the FUCK out.

Monday, December 7, 2009

When every road leads to you.

Every word you say is everthing I need to hear. This has to be a dream. Every kiss breaks down the walls I am holding up. Every time you stare into my eyes I fight the urge to choke up and tell you how much I love you. This is only the beginning of love, I'm only just starting to let myself fall. This is going deep, and I can't fight it. When every road leads to you, I am okay with getting lost.
Thank you.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

You asked.

Amazing is the way you look at me,
and I know everything is right.
Amazing is in the way you hold me,
and all these feelings are set free inside.
An "amazing" definition it to each their own,
but in my eyes my repesentation
is a man that makes my heart feel at home.

not the best poem I've ever written, but I couldn't hold it back.

oh yea baby

Dec. 6th, 2007
Dec. 6th 2009
It would be close
would be
but you're missing out.
a year and a half?
I can top that, he's a better person than anyone i've ever met.
It's your loss. I don't miss you.


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

learn it. live it. love it. love me.

I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I don't understand
All the things you've seen
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big... dreams
it's always you in my big dreams

And you tell me
That it's over
Wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clover
And you're restless
And I'm naked
You've got to get out
You can't stand to see me shaking
no, could you let me go
I didn't think so

and you don't want to be here in the future
So you say
the present's just a pleasant
Interruption to the past

And you don't want to look much closer
'Cause you're afraid to find out all this hope
You had sent into the sky by now had... crashed
and it did because of me

And then you bring me home
Afraid to find out that you're alone, no
And I'm sleeping in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live

I had these dreams, in them I learned to play guitar
Maybe cross the country
Become a rockstar
And there was hope in me
That I could take you there
But damn it you're so young
But I don't think I care
and if I hurt you then i'm sorry
please don't think that this was easy

And then you bring me home
'Cause we both know what it's like to be alone, no
And I'm dreaming in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live

And Konstantine is walking down the stairs
Doesn't she look good
Standing in her underwear?
And I was thinking, what I was thinking
But we've been drinking
And it doesn't get me anywhere

My Konstantine came walking down the stairs
And all that I could do
Was touch her long blonde hair
And I've been thinking
It hurts me thinking
That these nights when we were drinking
No they never got us anywhere, no

This is because I can spell konfusion with a K
And I can like it
It's to dying in anothers arms
and why i had to try it

It's to jimmy eat world
and those nights in my car
when the first star you see
may not be a star
I'm not your star
Isn't that what you said?
what you thought this song meant

And if this is what it takes
just to lie with my mistakes
and live with what I did to you
All the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock it's 11:11
And now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
You'll always be my Konstantine
My Konstantine

They'll never hurt you like I do
No, They'll never hurt you like I do
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No

This is to a girl who got into my head
with all the pretty things she did
Hey, You know, you keep me up in bed
This is to a girl who got into my head
with all these fucked up things I did
Hey maybe baby, you could keep me up in bed
My Konstantine

Spin around me like a dream
We played out on this movie screen
And I said,
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you

I miss you

And then you bring me home
And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone, no No,
And then you'll kiss me in your living room, oh
I know you miss me in your living room
Cause these nights I think maybe that I miss you in my living room
We don't have much room
I said, does anybody need that room?
Because we all need a little more room
To live

...My Konstantine <3