some days I want to fall down and just feel dew on every inch of my skin
walk through fields full of insects and daisies
and just stare at the mountains that surround me.
some days I just need to feel you next to me
and though i cringe listening to myself talk
I cant help watching your every move.
some nights I stop my train of thoughts in their tracks
and other nights i just them derail
and my imagination either surprises or scares me.
more often then not
I just want any other life but mine
I want to be prettier so i care less about my looks
I want to be more dull so I can cover myself in tattoos, piercings, and do weird things with my hair.
I have to fight myself on a daily basis about what i want
what i think is okay
and what i shouldn't think about.
I keep looking into therapy, but I just cant get myself to make that phone call
because I am terrified of what I will find out about myself
because It's easier to think you're strong
then finding out you're the weakest person in existence.