I just wanna be told I kick more ass than every other girl you've ever met.

drowning

falling

I just cant pick me up

I cant swim

I need someones help

but every ones hands are falling off

they keep speaking, but their words turn into bubbles and pop

nothing is real

nothing happens

I keep falling

letting my unorganized life take over

letting my disorders take over

no one sees

and I cant get myself to speak to save my life

I hurt so much

so so so so much

every emotion, every plan that falls through

every step hurts

but it doesn't matter

i don't matter

nothing matters.

If I drank, I would be drunk right now

if I did drugs, Kurt and I would be talking right now

but I don't like that shit

so I am going to go cry and fall asleep on a wet pillow

and you're going to think nothing of this blog.

p.s. I am loosing my Christmas spirit